Inner Tension
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Kelly watched Matt during his official Captain's ceremony and of course he was proud of his friend…but there was also a touch of resentment building inside. Based on eppy 6.04 'A Breaking Point' Severide centric with some sevasey and stellaride.


**Title: Inner Tension**

 **Summary:** Kelly watched Matt during his official Captain's ceremony and of course he was proud of his friend…but there was also a touch of resentment building inside. Based on eppy 6.04 'A Breaking Point' Severide centric with some sevasey and stellaride.

 **Disclaimer:** Same as always. I own nothing but my muse and my love for all things #firefighters #Sevasey & #Lindseride

 **A/N:** Season 6 just gets better and better and I so loved last night's eppy but was it only me that heard the touch of resentment in Kelly's tone when he was talking to or around Matt? I just wanted to capitalize a bit on that.

 **Note:** As always " _words in quotes and double italics taken from the eppy"_ single quotes or without are past convo's or thoughts.

* * *

 _"Big day…" Severide lightly chided Casey after Hope had handed him a pile of unenviable reports that he had to complete._

 _"Haven't even had a chance to let it sink in," Casey huffed. "All this last minute red tape."_

 _"Better get used to that…Sir…Captain," he concluded with a slight mock and then chuckle as Casey walked past and he headed on toward the breakfast area._

Course he was happy for his friend… _are you really_? His mind shot back as poured himself a mug of coffee and headed back to his favorite chair and slumped down with a heavy sigh. He drew a few curious stares but shrugged them off and told himself he just needed to get through today and that'd be it. However, as Boden called them all to attention and told them about a few new Captain duties Casey would be taking over he could only paste on a rather superficial smile, raise a small toast to his somewhat agitated friend and then go back to what he had been doing earlier – stewing.

 _'Casey? Really? Haven't you been…'_

 _'Dad…I really don't want to hear it!' He shot back the night before after a tense discussion with his father and then stormed out with an angry countenance._

Needing to get some space, Severide pushed himself up from his chair and slowly headed down the hallway toward his office. Even a small flirty look from Hope wasn't enough to push his mood up to a respectable level. _Be happy for your friend…you could have pushed for a Captain's position already if you wanted it!_ And he knew that.

 _'You turned down your own Captaincy….remember?' Benny had reminded him last night; which only soured his mood._

 _'Yeah…I remember!'_

But he didn't want to have to leave the city he loved so much to move up the professional ladder. He wanted to stay in Chicago and earn it on his own merit. Bragging rights wouldn't have been the same. Only he found it hard to be resentful toward Casey when his mild-mannered friend wasn't the type to push it in anyone's face…let alone those he worked with.

"Hey Lieutenant…"

Capp's request broke his thoughts and forced him to get out of his chair and follow his team out into the large garage area and then work on something on the truck for the next few hours and despite its monotony it was the distraction he needed to take his mind off his growing inner tension and simmering resentment. But as soon as lunch rolled around it was another case of his mind wanting to resort to high school politics which came out in his words after Capp asked if Casey wanted to come for lunch with them and he looked at them with a somewhat tired and exasperated expression; something he just had to verbally egg on a bit.

 _"Oh right…Captain's work is never done…" Severide chided with a bit of snark as Casey tossed back a mild warning that he laughed at as the team walked away._ It sounded high school and he knew it but he chalked it up to some friendly teasing and it was not out of character for him. But Severide told himself that today was Casey's day and it wasn't on him to make any kind of verbal waves on…well any contentious issue; _head down…do your job and come back tomorrow and just start fresh._

 _'You have a better eye than Casey for disaster settings!'_ his father's nagging voice resounded in his head once more as he sat on the couch in a somber mood. It would be added to a few seconds later when a breaking news report came back on their screens with a further update on the parking lot collapse. He couldn't help but lean in a bit closer and focus on the men in their turnout gear as they scrambled to help with the rescue.

 _"Can you believe this? Who's the PC over there?" Severide asked to Cruz or the rest of squad behind him, referring to the ongoing disaster scene unfolding before their eyes on TV in which one of their own was trapped inside. "He's all over the place. Look you have 63 and 70 in the collapse zone. You have guys freelancing over there in the west area. They're comin' in too hard on the top. Putting all their eggs in one basket. They should tunnel in from the north."_

 _As soon as Severide has finished his verbal dissertation, he glanced sideways at Cruz and slightly frowned before he quickly added, "right chief?"_

 _"Yeah…good eye," Boden acknowledged in front of everyone._

 _"You know…Chief would back you if you wanted to make Captain yourself…we all would," Cruz reminded him as Severide glanced up to see Casey hurry past with a distressed expression and an armful of paperwork – something he hated._

 _"I'm in no rush," he stated plainly but added a small smirk to try to shrug it off._

Severide tried to drown out his father's persistent voice as he argued back the night before that he didn't want the paperwork hassles or have to deal with all the bureaucratic red tape. But as much as he tried to tell himself that he didn't want all that responsibility in reality…he knew he did. And this father tried to drop the….

 _'You know I made Cap…'_

 _'Really? You throw that at me.'_

 _'Just a reminder that…_

 _'I'M NOT YOU!'_ He had shouted at his father and stormed out of his own apartment and outside; coming back later to an empty space and happy that at least the negative talk had died down and Stella wasn't there to ask what the family tension was about or how long it would last.

He feared the day ahead would be fraught with tormented thoughts but an anxious call from Boden that it was actually Dawson along with a few others now trapped in that horrific building collapse and the call to action was instantly answered. His simmering agitation would be put on hold…for now.

XXXXXXXX

 _Severide exited the men's bathroom about an hour before the official ceremony for Casey and spied him in the middle of the hallway with a distressed expression. "What's up?"_

 _"My tie," Casey replied with a small huff. "Took it off at the rescue and must have lost it."_

 _"Here," Severide offered as he tugged his tie free and then handed it to his friend. However, once again, in order to keep his father's nagging voice at bay he had to toss in a trademark Severide snark. "Not gonna ding me for uniform violation…are you captain?"_

 _"Ah…maybe just a warning this time," Casey deadpanned before he looked up with a sincere smile._

 _Of course he was happy that Casey had earned the promotion on his own merit and told him so, "hey congrats man. Seriously." He added because he knew no matter what he felt about his own professional inadequacies, he couldn't fault Matt for earning his. He was proud of his friend. Rightfully so._

 _"Thanks Kelly," Casey acknowledged with a friendly smile and nod as Severide clapped him on the back while the two of them turned and headed toward the rest of the team before they would all head outside and listen to Boden officially present Matt Casey with his CFD promotion._

XXXXXXXX

"So…what'll it be?" Stella asked Severide later that same night as Molly's was now bustling with a happy, celebratory crowd after Dawson's amazing survival of the collapse and Casey's rightly earned promotion.

"Club…"

"Soda? Whoa…" Stella looked at Severide in shock as his lips pursed. A small sideways glance toward Casey and Dawson caused a frown to form that he quickly tried to erase as soon as he looked back at his new roommate and longtime friend.

"You…mad about the promotion?" Stella gently probed.

"Me? No I'm just…whisky…" he stammered as she nodded in agreement. "Benny dropped by last night."

"Uh oh…that couldn't have been good…for either of you."

"Always brings out the…when I was your age I was Captain of my own house and…" Severide's voice drawled out with a bitter hiss as he downed a quick gulp of the whisky and then shook his head. "Brought up Springfield again. I get it but…but I wasn't ready. I think part of that draw was Anna but now…I'm not him…not him," he muttered as he took another sip and then looked at Stella's concerned expression. "Life of the party huh?"

"Well if you came in here all happy smiles when you're not you know what I'd say right?" Stella retorted as she leaned in closer.

"You can't…kid a KIDDer," he laughed as she grinned and leaned in even closer.

"You'll be a damn fine Captain when you're ready," she whispered as she planted a soft kiss on his cheek and then pulled back with a tender smile.

"When…I'm ready," he echoed as he looked over at Casey and Dawson once more, watched them embrace and this time couldn't help but offer them a genuine smile.

"One day…" Stella broke back into his cloudy thoughts as her hand rested on his and forced his gaze back to hers. "You'll have that."

"Yeah..."

"You're not him," Stella assured him.

"Sure."

He gave her an uncertain smile that she knew hid simmering feelings that he needed to confront or deal with before they boiled over and damaged friendships that he needed to keep himself grounded.

"Kelly…"

"Yeah I'm good," he insisted with a tight lipped smile that didn't fool her. "So…any new drink combos you wanna try out?"

She wanted to argue with him and remind him that he needed to let it out…but she also didn't want to sully the night or sour his mood further so she gave him a wink and pulled out her cocktail shaker which instantly grew the smile on his face that always went weak in her knees.

"What's it call?" Severide asked in wonder.

"Take what you want," she looked at him with a husky tone and then tossed her head back and laughed; the carefree expression that always drove him wild.

"Sounds good."

"Oh…it is."

Severide took the first sip of the new exotic drink and told himself that tomorrow he'd deal with his inner tension and hopefully squash his father's negative tone; but tonight…tonight he wanted to just drown out a few sorrows and enjoy the party with his friends.

 **THE END!**

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 **A/N:** I know next weeks eppy shows our boys at odds (again-ugh) so hopefully its short lived. If you liked some Severide angst please do review before you go and thanks so much!


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